reader comments on this entry:
sat 2004-jul-31 12:27:49 pdt
posted by leigh
My sister is 19 and I've been around her and her friends and have interacted with quite a few girls near her age through livejournal and what not.
Attitudes are shifting. I have no doubt there are tons of females out there who suffer the normal insecurities, have the programming that enjoying sex is bad, and feel obligated to have sex but there definately seems to be quite a few girls that are demanding they get theirs.
On the flip side, I have noticed a difference between the mentality of guys say, my boyfriends age (he's 20) and guys a bit older than myself. That they are more aware that they have a "duty" to their partner.
It's much nicer to be with a guy who initially wonders what he should be doing for me, then to be with a guy that I have to teach SHOULD be doing something for me.
Ironically my current boyfriend is an exception to the stereotype that younger guys are a touch more educated because I've had to teach him more than anyone else I've been with and it's been a lot of work to undo preconceptions and what not (stereotypes put into his head by watching male orientated porn and having never talked to females about their bodies or even read about women's bodies). But now that he's seen the light, he's as enthusiastic as any other. ;)
I'm not sure that a change in women's mentalities about their sexuality will change ideas on marriage. I don't personally see how they are related.
I have always seen marriage as a contract. When I was married, it was for financial reasons. I was disgusted by the entire idea of marriage when I was 10 years old (probably related to my upbringing) and came to terms with it by viewing it as a functional thing.
I think that people *should* view legal marriage as a contract but it doesn't need to be devoid of the emotional bonds either. As surely, standing before friends and family, doing the whole "i love you" crap, can be bonding (for anyone but me). And some people may feel further commited by signing a contract of that nature.
I am just happy to know people who don't view marriage as the only way to have a moral relationship. I resent religious associations with it and think they should be completely seperated, at least from the bigger picture of society.
Hmm, I lost my train of thought. Anyway ... YAY! for sexual awareness. :)
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